I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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