I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
