I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can feel your judgement through the phone
God, I missed his penis.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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