and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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