Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
