What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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