Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
