Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
