yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
