girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
