arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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