I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
