I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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