Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
