I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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