Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
