And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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