ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Found the puke drawer
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
