My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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