i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize