Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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