Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
