need another drink. this is the easiest way
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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