Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
