so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
