i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
