Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
