There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
where am i from again
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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