I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize