Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
