this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize