I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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