I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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