Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize