do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
