i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
