omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
