As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
