sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
