weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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