Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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