your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His nipple licking is glorious
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