Sry I called you an 8
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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