I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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