The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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