O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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