Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
