she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
