He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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