So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
