It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
