So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
