Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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