Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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