she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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