Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
