Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
