all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
