i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
