Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
