He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
