Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
